The comment on my last blog has prompted me to write this. It was assumed that 1 swat on the butt to a child who has not responded to every other means an adult has tried to correct an inappropriate behavior is abuse. I do not agree when it is only 1 swat with a hand it is not abuse.
Now lets talk about something no one everrrrrrrrrr talks about children who abuse adults and get away with it because the adults are too frightened to make it stop. The comment on the last blog stated that children that live with violence are taught violence. That is only partly true. Most children have a tendency to hit at a young age even if the parents do not. It is up to the parents to teach the children what is right or wrong in the world so they can fit in with others. I am going to tell you some true stories about abusive children and the people that had to live with them.
Let's start with this little boy I knew. He was 3 years old when I first noticed the fits of anger he would have. One day he shoved the tv( and they were bigger and heavier back then) off the stand onto the floor because he did not get his own way. Those parents NEVER spanked him so no way did he learn it from him as the comment alleges . When he would get angry he would throw things and hit his sister for no reason. I even saw him hit his elderly grandmother one time, and still she did not strike back she just walked away from him. As a result of getting away with such behavior he continued to do it for years after.
Then there is the one about the 13 year old girl who got angry one day and shoved her mother so hard against a car door mirror she injured her back, but she got away with it neither parent did anything to her about it. Same girl got into an argument with her sister and actually made her sister bleed. I know this because her sister called me crying she told me her mother was going to blame her. I asked her if she hit her sister first she said no I said then your mom will not blame you. BOY WAS I WRONG. The mother did blame the sister who was bleeding. I said to the mother are you insane. Not only did she not punish the sister that bloodied her sister, but she blamed the victim. This family was not violent in fact the parents were deacon and deaconess of their church. So no one will ever convince me only kids that were abused will become abusers.
Now let's talk about the little girl who's parents let her do what ever she wanted. She was only 12 when she shot another child from the neighborhood in the arm with a bee bee gun. Do you not think she needed discipline?
The thing to remember is there is a line between disciplining your child and abusing it. OOOO and the word discipline means to teach although many think it means punishment.
Bottom line is kids need to learn actions have consequences. If you can not get through to a child by time outs, groundings, taking away their devices, or more chores sometimes it is necessary to take a more direct approach. I would also like to make this clear I am in no way advocating slapping your kids in the face just because they get on your nerves. Kids getting on their parent's nerves is all a part of parenting. When they do the parent should take a time out for themselves, maybe soak in a nice warm bath for a while. The majority of patent violence to kids is born out of frustration. If you take a little time to calm yourself down before you deal with the issue spankings may not be necessary, but you do need to maintain control of your children until they understand how to behave.
