jane_and.the_dragon

Have you ever noticed children do not think in the same manner as adults? I am going to give a few examples of what I mean, and if any of this bores you I am sorry. Let's start with something kids used to say a lot when I was young ( I did not try this but I knew several kids that did). They would say if they did not get what they wanted they would hold their breath till they died. I said to my mom one time about this kid going to hold his breath till it died and she told me not to worry about it. The most that would happen is he would pass out and then he would start breathing again so he was not going to die.
My niece called her mom to pick her up soon as she got to school one day. Her mom was angry (people in my family are very emotional) and when she got to the school she started yelling at her daughter, because her daughter was a bit of a hypochondriac, and one of the mothers at the bus stop that morning said there was a sick child on the bus and all the kids would get sick. My sister-in-law thought because my niece had heard that she just thought she was ill. My sister-in-law had a meeting at work that day and dropped my niece off with me. She told me why she thought she had to pick her daughter up from school, and left for her meeting. I put my niece in bed and then I asked her what was up with her stomach ache. She told me what she THOUGHT I wanted to hear what her mom had just told me, but I know my niece VERY WELL I took one look at her and realized she was not telling me the truth. I looked her right in the eye and said to her NOW WHAT IS THE REAL STORY? At that point she told me she had been laughed at by a couple girls on the bus on her way to school and that she had not eaten breakfast that morning. When she told me the whole story as to what was said I knew why the girls had laughed, but my niece did not understand, and as a result her nerves got to working up on her empty tummy and by the time she got to school, she did have a real tummy ache. ( her dad was the same way when he was young). I told my niece ok to get some rest and I would get her something to eat. I told her I would talk to her mom about it and in the future if her mom started yelling at her for something that was not correct to tell her MOM LET ME TELL YOU WHAT REALLY HAPPENED and that would be her cue to shut up and listen.
When my sister-in-law got back I told her I knew why her daughter was sick and it was not why she thought. She asked me what I meant and I explained what had happened. She asked me how I found that out. I told her I had asked my niece and first told me what she THOUGHT I wanted to here and I told her I took one look at her and knew she was not telling me the truth, and I asked her ok what is the real story? and she told me. My sister-in-law asked me how? I was shocked my mom had always know if i tried to lie it amazed me my sister-in-law did not know her daughter was lying. Till that point I thought the ability to tell when your child was telling an lie was something all mothers had. I said you can not tell when your own child is lying? She said,"No" so i promptly told her how to tell. I also told her if her daughter ever said to her (MOM LET ME TELL YOU WHAT REALLY HAPPENED) she is to shut up and listen to her daughter. After she had the real story then she could continue yelling if she wanted, because she would be yelling for the right reason. Then my sister-in-law asked me why she did not tell her that. I said because you were yelling at her when you got there and she shut down knowing you would not listen at that point. She then said she should tell me. I asked if she had asked her what happened she said no,but she should tell her. I had to laugh at that . I asked her what planet was she from? I told her you are expecting an 8 year old to think like an adult. Children's minds do not think like adults. Some times you have to ask several questions to get at the real truth , this time it only took one. I told her you watch her eyes to see if she is lying . If so you ask a question and watch again. It may take a few questions, but she would get to the truth eventually. I also told her her daughter would shut down if she went at her yelling, she should go at her calm to get the truth. Kids do not think like adults.

What really makes it hard is when the child does not understand what you are telling them. We got this little boy that lives across the street, and he has autism. He keeps running back and forth across the street and I am frightened he is going to get hit by a car. No matter how many times he is told not to do it he keeps doing it. Then he and his sister were playing a game with another child on my other neighbors porch last night, and because his sister won he kicked her. I told him we do not kick, but my neighbor tried to excuse the behavior by saying he has autism. I think even if he does have autism it should be possible to teach him not to kick people. It may take a bit of time, but I think it can be done. If I am wrong he may end up in jail someday for kicking the wrong person.
OK I have rambled on long enough for one day. I will shut up now.